


I'll Fall So You'll Fly

by momentoftruth7



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Denial, Depression, I cried while writing this, M/M, Oops, Realization, Sad, Suicide, Viktor with a K, i'm sorry fam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 18:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9669938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momentoftruth7/pseuds/momentoftruth7
Summary: Viktor looked at the clock. 8:14.He began to get nervous. Yuuri had said he'd be home by 8:00, and Viktor was fine with him coming later, but the fact that Yuuri hadn't answered his phone made him worry.OR: Yuuri feels like he's not enough and Viktor tried to help.





	

Viktor looked at the clock. 8:14.

He began to get nervous. Yuuri had said he'd be home by 8:00, and Viktor was fine with him coming later, but the fact that Yuuri hadn't answered his phone made him worry. 

Viktor had called several times already, each time counting the rings and praying to hear that beautiful voice saying, “Hey. I'm almost home, it's OK.”

Instead, each time he called he heard the monotone voice of the answering machine.

The person you are trying to reach is not available. After the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording please hang up or press one for more options.

That voice haunted him. Every time it drove Viktor closer to full panic. 

8:37

He called again, saying that this was the final time. Then he'd go out to look for Yuuri himself. He counted ten rings, just like each other time. He was about to hang up when he heard something in place of the automated voicemail.

“Hey. This is the voicemail of Yuuri Katsuki, that's me. If you're a close friend or family, I'm really sorry. I just… I can't do it anymore. I've let down so many people…”

Viktor could hear the man's voice crack over his phone. He couldn't just stand and wait around. He knew that Yuuri had been having trouble with his depression, but Viktor had done everything he could and Yuuri seemed to get better...Right?

With the phone still talking, Viktor ran out the door, not bothering to grab his coat or put on his shoes.

“This will probably come to you as a shock. I'm really sorry about his. I love you all. And Viktor, please, try to forget me. I'm not worth remembering.”

Viktor could not let Yuuri talk about himself that way. He knew something was wrong, and he hoped deep within himself that he would get there in time to make it right. By the time the message was over and he heard the tone that signaled for the voicemail to start recording, he was halfway down the block. He hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket, hoping, praying that Yuuri was still OK. That he would turn the corner and he would run into Viktor's arms. 

8:48

It had been more than 20 corners. Yuuri wasn't there. 

8:52

“Damn it, Viktor. He needs you. Find him. Please… find him.” He said to himself. 

There was never a time in Viktor's life, not even going into his first Grand Prix, that he had felt this scared. He could feel the tension in his chest slowly build but he pushed it down. He couldn't deal with that right now. He needed to find Yuuri. 

8:54

One person. One building. Eight floors. One destination. 

“Yuuri!” Viktor called, upon realizing who it was crouching on the ledge of the roof. He wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for the lantern on the building, lighting up Yuuri's face. He was so far up. All Viktor wanted to do was run up to the love of his life. To hold him. To help him. But he couldn't, because letting Yuuri out of his sight for even a second wasn't an option. 

“Please! Please don't do this, Yuuri! The world needs you!” His voice cracked, and his hands began to tremble as he continued, “I-I need you… You've been holding me together, you've been there for me for so long. I c-can’t imagine life without you. Please stay! I know it hurts, but please! I want to help you get through it!”

At this point Viktor's vision was going blurry. Tears streamed down his face and soaked his shirt. His bare feet were practically screaming for warmth and the puffs of fog from his breath drifted through the sharp wind. 

Keep it together, Viktor. Keep it together. You can do this. Please. Please…

He could hear the other man yell a reply through the wind. His voice seemed weak and helpless. Viktor pleaded for his legs to move forwards, for him to be able to help Yuuri. 

“Viktor, it's not your fault! I was never good enough and I never will be. Just… let me go… let me stop having to burden you. I'm holding you back, and I'm wasting the money my parents saved up to let me skate. I'll never get anywhere.”

His head was swirling now, he couldn't control his breathing or his motions. His legs stopped working and he fell onto his knees, the cold from the air and the ground slowly seeped through his pajamas. 

He needs you, Viktor. He needs you now. 

“Please, Viktor. Before I go, tell me one last time that you love me. Maybe I can make myself believe it even for a second.” He could hear that the voice up above was desperate.

Summoning all of the strength left in him, Viktor pulled out his phone and dialled his fiancé's number for what must have been the hundredth time that night. 

Thankfully, Yuuri answered. They both breathed into the phone for what seemed like eternity, but was probably not even a minute. 

Viktor managed to speaks through bouts of sobbing that racked his body.

“Yuuri. I need you here. No matter what happens, I will always love you. I love you so much Yuuri, and I want you to stay. We can figure it out, we'll find a wa-”

He was cut off by a panicked tone from the other side of the call, “No. I won't let you give up more of your time for me. For-” he paused to think of a word, “-for a piece of garbage.”

At this, Viktor gasped. His whole body began to shake and he couldn't move. He could see Yuuri scoot closer to the edge of the building, getting nearer and nearer each second. 

“Yuuri. Stop, ple-”

“No. No, Viktor. Let me do this without any regrets. Just let. Me. Go.” Viktor heard how weak the voice sounded. There were sobs heard through the phone.

“I love you, Yuuri.”

“I love you too, Viktor. I'm sorry.”

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

His eyes fluttered open as rain pelted at the window of his apartment. He could feel two arms wrap around his waist and he melted into them. Then, he remembered that horrid nightmare.

He shifted slightly in his bed, and his eyes began to water. He gripped at the hands around his and held on tight, not wanting to let go of the man he had just thought he had lost.

He looked over at the clock on his bedside table.

8:14

A soothing voice came from beside him as he cried softly.

“Viktor,” Yuuri's voice was full of concern for the other man, “are you alright? What happened?”

“I-I tried to help you b-but you were so far and-and so high up I-I couldn't do it. I lost you. I b-broke down, I-I couldn't move-”

And with that Viktor broke into yet another bout of crying, a little stronger this time. Yuuri began to rub circles on his fiancé's back, soothingly.

“Shh, shh, it'll be OK. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

They stayed like that for a while, until eventually sobs became sniffles and sniffles became silence. A short while after Viktor had calmed down, there was a knock on the door. 

He got up to answer it, now feeling better. He inhaled and set a cheerful smile on his face before stepping forwards and turning the handle, revealing a young man standing on the other side with something in his hands.

“Package for a Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov?” The man said in a slightly tired tone.

“That would be me!” Viktor replied, keeping his tone as bright as he could and signed the receipt.

Yuuri sauntered over to his husband's side and leaned on his shoulder. Viktor smiled at the gesture.

“Do you think these are the photos from your family? They promised they'd send me some from when you were younger,” Viktor said with a chuckle.

Yuuri giggled lightly and nuzzled his head into Viktor's neck while playfully punching his arm. Viktor turned back to the man in the doorway and noticed his face had a look of confusion on it. The man seemed to be pondering something.

“Thank you for bringing the package!” Viktor said. The man still seemed to be confused. “Is there something wrong?” He asked with a tilt of his head.

The delivery man shook his head, seemingly snapping out of his daze. “No, just… if you don't mind me asking… who was it you were talking to just now?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm... Really sorry...Oops...? If you want to hmu on Tumblr then my username is "wellhellothereboys" but I don't post really. I will answer messages and all of that, though. And please if you have ideas on what I should write next, let me know about that too! Thanks!


End file.
